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What has happened to the Great Pretzel Swallower? Well, first off, he keeps lying and getting caught in his lies. Bill Clinton, America´s Sex President, told technical lies about his love life, but Dubya, America´s War President, is spouting huge, in-your-face lies about critical international issues, like what weapons magna cum video laude Saddam actually has and what his ties to Al Qaeda-types really are.

Second, diplomacy requires a bit of romance. Getting the nations of the world to back you up in your plan to pre-emptively pummel one of them into abject submission is a question of seduction. And, as Laura magna cum video laude Bush´s apparently embalmed smile can attest, Dubya is no Casanova.

Clinton wasn´t just seducing female admirers while in office; the guy romanced whole continents with diplomacy, sweet-talking Northern Ireland into settling down and Rabin and Arafat into shaking hands. Even Daddy Bush seduced most of the nations of the magna cum video laude world into joining him when they all gangbanged the Wily Iraqi out of Kuwait.

But Dubya doesn´t want to be bothered with seduction. Nah. Here is one politician who really doesn´t care what people think. Why should he? He didn´t need their votes to become President. And he doesn´t magna cum video laude need their permission to commit mass murder. Cocky? You bet. This is the arrogance of power, privilege and gross stupidity.

People are rising to oppose this war before it even starts, from the Security Council to the streets, wielding sexy signs like The Only Bush I Trust is My magna cum video laude Own and A Village in Texas Has Lost It´s Idiot, shouting and poking fun at the American Emperor and how he´s not only wearing no clothes, he lost his political erection, just like he never really won that election.

But Bush doesn´t care about these focus groups. He´s reporting magna cum video laude to a higher power, God (the Christian one) , or Dick (Cheney, of course, not his own dick; if only Bush reported to his own dick like Clinton, we might not be in this mess) . Or maybe he reports to his Mom. His oil buddies. The war industry. Only magna cum video laude your favorite conspiracy theorist knows for sure. The point is he seems to be going full speed ahead with turning this Cockfight with the guy who tried to kill my dad into WAR with a capital Dubya.

So, what´s the plan, Bushman? The Pentagon calls it Shock and Awe. magna cum video laude Being a sex therapist and seeing all this stuff through a Darwinian/Freudian/Dr. Ruthian prism, I call it Bukkake Bombing.

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